September has began, and somehow people feel the nearing of December; the smell of cold wind makes us anticipate for the coming Christmas and everyone feels a mix of sadness and excitement. Sad, because time flies by so quickly for everyone. Excited, because life never fail to surprise us and we have yet to see what 2014 have for us.
September have got to be the best time of my year. Always. It seemed that opportunity knocks left and right around this time and it’s always my busiest time. The challenge life has stored for me this year makes me really strong, and more optimistic. It seemed that the path I have chosen this time had led me to isolation, because I feel alone in this journey. Like fighting a battle, alone. It’s so hard to accept it at first, but I’m beginning to see this as an opportunity to test how strong I am, to see who will be there for me and how much I really believe in myself. To know my limits… to know more about myself.
There’s a strong hatred that’s building up inside me. Hatred towards the people who are supposed to be there for me, who are supposed to give me the support that I’ll be needing. But have I always been a carefree naive girl because I know they will be always there for me? Maybe this is the best time to stand by my ground and really commit myself in my promises. Maybe this is a way of life to tell me something, to find out something.
I don’t want to hate, because hatred is such a strong feeling that I know one day will bring me down. I want to be someone who can always forgive people no matter what, because forgiveness make us live in peace. And I will always want peace in my sleep.
But sometimes, we have to do what it takes to give ourselves a good lesson – a lesson that we’ll never forget. And that’s what I’m doing right now. I want to know the different sides of betrayals to prepare my mind and my heart for everything that will be ahead of me.
I’m ready. I’m more than ready to face the challenges I’m about to come across with, and I know that in every challenge I manage to survive, I will get stronger..
And I now have a clear mission in life: to make a difference, not to make myself known but to be missed in this world when I’m gone.
The continuing chronicles of Jose Dalisay Jr., aka Butch Dalisay, a Filipino collector of old fountain pens, disused PowerBooks, '50s Hamiltons, creaky cameras, VW spare parts, poker bad beats, and desktop lint.